Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
