If i come over, it means nothing
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
