a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
