Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
