I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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