To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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