his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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