We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
