he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
