dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
