I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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