I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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