Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
