I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
