he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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