so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
