My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
