If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
