I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
