When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
