my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
