So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
where are you?
Hypothermia
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
