we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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