I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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