so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
