i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
MIDGETS
????
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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