He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
