The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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