hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We talked him into tasing himself.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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