Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
