Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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