Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
