dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
