just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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