his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
