ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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