So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
