and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
