that's an acceptable place to lick
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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