How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
