im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
