Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
