Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
