I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
