when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
