He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
