yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
