i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
