I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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