proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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