Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
