she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
